Project #BloggerConfessions

Posted January 19, 2016 by Nick & Nereyda/ 138 Comments

Project blogger confessions

I wrote a #bloggerconfessions post a few months ago and Nick did her own blogger confessions post too and a lot of you seemed to like them, but many expressed how you either wished you could confess a few things of your own, or how scared you were to say how you really feel about certain things.  Nick and I thought it would be a fun idea to share more of our confessions and see if any of you wanted to share a few of your confessions too!

I’m really relieved not only because I’ve been wanting to get a few of these off my chest for a while, but because a lot of you guys feel the same way we do.  I do not like the direction blogging is going, and I’m hoping that if people realize how many of of are annoyed by certain habits, maybe it will shift back.

Anyway, the point of this post and today’s confessions are not to start drama.  This is a place to share your thoughts about blogging and to get a few things off your chest.  If you missed your chance to add your own confession, feel free to add it in the comments!  It doesn’t have to be a super secret deep dark confession, it can be anything related to blogging.  We’ll be tweeting confessions throughout the day using the hashtag #bloggerconfessions if you want to follow or add your own confessions on Twitter too.

Nereyda’s Confessions:
  • I really hate when bloggers brag about their authors being their ‘friends’ or getting ARC’s from their author ‘friends.’  Just because you kiss ass talk to an author on social media, it doesn’t make them your friend.  And I can’t help but wonder if you would be ‘friends’ if they weren’t authors and you weren’t a blogger. #letsbereal <– I’m not saying it’s possible to be friends with an author, but let’s also not pretend that the reason you are probably even talking is because we are authors and they are bloggers and it’s a beneficial relationship to both parties.  And like all my confessions, this doesn’t apply to everyone, but all the ‘my good friend sent me this ARC!’ make me wanna barf.  Especially when that blogger only got that ARC cause they don’t shut up about the book on Twitter.
  • Dear Authors: Just because I love your books doesn’t mean I want to be friends with you.  I will read and review your books, support you, favorite/RT your tweets, share sales and recommend the hell out of your books.  But let’s just leave it at that so things don’t get weird if I ever not like one of your books. #itsnotpersonal #istilllikeyou
  • I cringe thinking about the possibility of bloggers being paid to review or or write sponsored posts someday.  If there is so much dishonesty and shadiness right now when it comes to a $15 or less book that will be out anyway, I’m scared to think what questionable methods bloggers may resort to when money is on the line.
  • I know that there some are bloggers out there who charge for reviews or for featuring a book AND DON’T DISCLOSE IT which is not only a douche move, but it’s also illegal.
  • I think there are so many bloggers out there who are blogging for publicists (in order to stay in their good graces, aka get more ARC’s).  It’s okay to say no to a review request or promo request!  I’ve completely ignored emails from publicists that I’ve worked with before since like August when I was dealing with my house issues and I still get ARC’s and I still keep getting emails.  They won’t forget about you if you don’t participate in everything they pitch you!
  • Debut Author features have been around since I started blogging back in 2011, and probably even before that!  Just because someone does a debut author feature, doesn’t mean that every body else is banned from doing it, or that they are ‘copying’ you if they do. And really, can we come up with another idea already???
  • After 4 years and three blog name changes, I finally loooooove my new blog name.  And yes, it came to me in a dream.  And it’s totally inspired by the book Nick & Nora’s Infinite Playlist.  And no, I haven’t read the book yet… (hides in shame)
  • I have more than 800 physical books on my bookshelves in my book room.  I am officially out of space on my four 6-shelf bookcases and have had to resort to stacking books horizontally on top of other books.  I have space in my room for one more bookcase and that’s it. I don’t know what I will do with my books after that.  And yes, I do give away a bunch to my niece and to my local library.
  • I had to take out my TV from my book room to make room for my books.  #notevensorry
  • Lately, I seem to have only two reading modes.  It either takes me forever to finish a book (more than a week) or else I binge and end up finishing a book in less than 24 hours.  There seems to be no in between.  I admit the second case doesn’t happen often, but it’s so nice when it does happen.
  • Netflix takes up a lot of my reading time… and I don’t even feel bad about it.
  • I rarely ever carry a book with me when I go somewhere.  Not even my kindle.  It’s rare that I have time to read when I’m out of my house, but if I do I have ebooks and audiobooks on my phone.
  • I like to say ‘fuck’ in my reviews (if you haven’t noticed yet) … because why the fuck not. 🙂
  • I feel guilty that I never promote any of our blog posts on Twitter (other than automatic tweets), but I haaaaaaaaate Twitter! I’m gonna try to learn how to at least schedule tweets for 2016.
  • One of the reasons I dislike Twitter so much is because I stay away from certain bloggers and no matter that I’ve unfollowed over 1000 people this past year (sorry, it’s not personal!) I can’t seem to get away from their tweets.
  • If I could blog in the shower I would be such an awesome blogger, I swear all my reviews and post ideas come to me when I’m in the shower.  Unfortunately, I forget almost everything once I’m out.
  • I don’t like that in this community, speaking your mind almost always leads to drama.  If everyone is afraid to say what they think, no matter how silly it may be, then how can I trust your reviews if you’re always afraid to either hurt someone’s feelings or upset someone???
  • I know for a fact that certain bloggers didn’t like November 9 but still gave it 4 or 5 stars because ‘they were afraid of backlash.’  And you wonder why I don’t trust bloggers…
  • Bloggers that rate books 6 stars or 6++ stars or ‘top favorites’ are ruining the rating system for the rest of us.  A favorite book is a favorite book.  There should be different levels of favorite…
  • I don’t understand how some bloggers are so popular and influential when their ‘reviews’ are basically a long summary of the…book summary. #whereisyouropinion
  • I hate when bloggers/readers uprate a book they didn’t like or didn’t like as much simply because they are big fans of the author.  You can be the biggest fan and it’s still okay to not love one or more of their books.  Doesn’t make you less of a fan. Yes it happens.  A lot.
  • This ‘groupie’ mentality that some fan bases have for certain authors (especially in the indie world) is super intense and scares me away from readers those author’s books.
  • I hate how some bloggers are considered celebrities that can never do any wrong.
  • It’s sad that bloggers who are really loud on twitter and won’t shut up about certain books/authors (especially debut authors) are considered better than other bloggers and that certain authors/publicists treat them better just because they…kiss ass.
  • Dear debut authors: we see what you are doing by 5 starring and gushing about EVERY other debut book.  The book is probably 5 stars, probably not.  But the fact that you are an author too, just makes your rating mean nothing to me.  Seeing a debut book have all 5 stars on GR, and the majority of those reviews being from debut or author friends just seems shady to me.
  • I wish Goodreads didn’t let other authors rate books, or let you filter them out at least.  Author reviews mean nothing to me.  (yes, I’ve been burned by author praise so many times).  Of course they are gonna love the book!
  • If you are offended by one of my confessions…then you are probably guilty of doing them.
  • I refuse to apologize for speaking my mind.
  • If it weren’t for my friendship with Nick and Megan and blogging with Nick, I would have stopped blogging last year.  I’m so glad I didn’t because as many issues I have with book blogging, I also love it.
  • I miss the good old days when we read books simply because they sounded good.  Not because we want a coveted ARC or want to be friends with an author.
  • I am so annoyed by so many shady author practices when it comes to selling books.  All the ‘buy my book and I will donate to X charity!’ or ‘buy my book before it’s pulled from all platforms forever!’ is so shady.  What happened to buying a book because it sounded good? If a book sounds good, I will buy it.  I don’t need any other antics to entice me.
  • Not every sentence of your review needs to sound like a wanna-be blurb.  If I need a freaking dictionary to read your review, then I’m outta there! #layoffthethesaurus
Nick’s Confessions:
  • I used to be jealous of people who could read 300+ books a year, but I realized over the summer that for me, it was possible to be burnt out on books.
  • I miss Sam from Realm of Fiction everyday. She was one of the first bloggers I befriended and a blogger that I aspired to be like. I’m sad that she no longer blogs or has an online presence. 🙁
  • Dear bloggers who won’t stop buttering up authors and talking to them on Twitter 24/7 and giving them nicknames, I can see through your bullshit ways. I can also tell you, I’m not the only one who knows that you’re doing it either for popularity or to snag ARCs from them. Just so you know, it’s tacky as hell.
  • Dear same bloggers as above, I don’t trust your reviews. It’s VERY hard for me to believe that you’re unbiased in your review for books of your author “friends”. Once again, I’m not the only one, so maybe you need to check your priorities.
  • Sometimes, I’ll see bloggers who request/receive every book and wonder if they’ll even read them all. I think it’s a waste of money/books when they go to people who barely review books.
  • I think “How to” book blogger posts are stupid, offensive and hurtful. Let people blog the way they want and do whatever the heck they want. Don’t try to shame me or anyone for writing mini-reviews, posting promotional posts or a slew of memes. If you don’t like that, fine, just move on to another website.
  • I am sick and tired of the million 2016 debut author features. One was fine. Two was fine. But now it seems like everyone and their mother is doing one and they are all essentially promo blitzes that don’t really tell me more about a book than I would have learned on Goodreads. I’m also doubtful that everyone doing these features is doing it to really help these authors out. Thank goodness for the “Mark as read” button on Bloglovin!
  • I have never read the Harry Potter series nor have I watched the full movie series. I never got the appeal when I was younger. BUT I’m currently in the process of reading them right now and I’m glad I waited until I was 22 because I have a different kind of appreciation for it.
  • I don’t like threesomes in my books (totally random I know, but at the time I’m typing this one, I’m just coming off of a reading a book with one). I think books with them need to come with a disclaimer. I can’t deal with free love.
  • I constantly worry that I’m insignificant in this community because I don’t have that many friends on Twitter and such. At the same time, I’m beyond thankful for all the great friends I also do have.
  • I feel very very awkward when authors follow me on Twitter, especially if I haven’t read a book by them. I worry that I will hate their book and they’ll see my review and get hurt.
  • I can get internally defensive when I see someone bash/hate on a book that I like, but I’m also smart enough not to lash out and understand that different people have different opinions.
  • I like to look at overall Goodreads averages from friends and non-friends and if someone has a very low rating (less than 3), then I’ll be confused and sad. Why read books from a genre you know you mostly hate over and over? It just seems like such a waste of time to me, not to mention, incredibly depressing.
  • I worry that my reviews sound repetitive all the time.
  • Sometimes, I’ll write a review for a book like 15 minutes it’s supposed to go live. I really need to work on this.
  • I’m a very romance-driven reader – the chance that I”ll pick up a book without a romance is almost non-existent. I want to change that because I know I’m missing out.
  • I suck at Instagram. I don’t really have cool props lying around to take fun photos. And also, it takes me forever to be happy with what something looks like, so it would probably take me 2 days to take a photo of one book.
  • Starting the new blog with Nereyda was the best decision I’ve ever made. I feel so much relaxed about posting and reading.
Fellow Blogger/Anonymous Confessions:
  • I still request far too many books that I don’t read. My Netgalley account at the end of 2015 after four years is at 60%. I am really really trying to work on that. I am ashamed to admit that far too many of my requests are based on flashy covers, and often I request without even thoroughly reading the synopsis. Yes, I have a problem. – Heidi @Rainy Day Ramblings
  • I get so annoyed by some bloggers who say they aren’t in it for the ARCs but totally are. Actions speak louder than words.
  • I let my blog stats/facebook likes determine my self worth as a blogger! I know it shouldn’t matter, but I care! When someone unsubscribes or unlikes my blog, I obsess over why! When no one comments or likes a post, I get super sad! – The Book Disciple 
  • Even though it takes me less time to actually sit down and read the book, if the audio book is available, I’m ten times more likely to listen to that.
  • Sometimes I enter giveaways for books I already own. – Zach @Zach’s YA Reviews
  • I freak out whenever someone tries to at least overly-bend one of my books’ covers or tries to ruin them from their perfect state. When I let you borrow a book, it needs to be given back to me in the same condition. (Sorry, I get a bit OC with books most of the time xD) – Mara @Mara Was Here 
  • I can only read in silence most of the time. if I have my earbuds in and a song I love comes on – jhene aiko or whatever – I’ll literally probably throw the book aside and concentrate on the song alone or start looking for the full album – Peach @Rebelle Reads
  • I love actual books but lately I’ve been reading faster on my kindle. – Peach @Rebelle Reads
  • I’ve noticed that there is a trend going on in the blogosphere, and that is more or less “sucking up to publishers and authors to get ARCs”. I know it doesn’t affect me personally, and neither am I crazy about ARCs, but that is mainly what I see on my Twitter feed nowadays. And I just find it unhealthy for the blogging community because 1) What is the line between bloggers and publishers/authors and 2) Are we being used as a free marketing tool? and 3) This is creating a ton of competition in the community, and everything just feels incredibly tense. Now, many bloggers are doing the same thing, hosting Twitter chats, featuring debut authors and books in some way (make it stop please! It’s too much!), or tweeting to publishers about wanting an ARC when a picture is posted. I’m not putting all the blame on bloggers though, publishers definitely know that all this ARC competition is good for marketing, which is why they aren’t bothered by any of it.
    So that’s my confession. And obviously I can’t talk about it in public, except through private DMs with my closest friends. But yeah, this kind of bothers me not because of ARC envy, but because it is affecting the community as a whole. And it makes me sad. – Anonymous
  • I feel like blogging has become more about who you know rather than who you are. – Anonymous
  • I feel like there’s been a wave of bloggers who have come into this expecting to get everything without any work or effort at all. And I can tell who they are by the lack in original content. – Anonymous
  • I do care about the stats, way more than I should. Way more than I want to. It’s hard to ignore. – Anonymous
  • I thought about this for a long time before deciding what to say, and there’s a lot. First, the good for me far outweighs the bad in the book world. That said, sometimes the bad can overwhelm me, and it’s nice to get it out. – Anonymous
  • I work hard at this- too hard, probably. It’s supposed to be a hobby, yet I compete with myself every day. I pretty much drive myself insane, even though it IS still incredibly fun for me. – Anonymous
  • The negative stuff takes its toll though. I am so sick of the nonsense. I am sick of people in a BOOK community having to be told that plagiarism is not okay. I am sick of people judging each other. I am sick to death of the ass-kissing for books, and then turning around and berating people for having “ARC envy”. You know what? Yeah, I get a little incensed that I have worked my ass off and some people make it into a popularity contest. – Anonymous
  • I am sick of “ARC Envy” being a negative thing. Unless someone is being rude (which is never okay) or like, saying something to an author or publisher (also very not okay), how about we let people feel what they feel? – Anonymous
  • I get particularly stabby when the community at large bitches about people thinking of ARCs as “free books” and then not realizing that WE are basically free promotional tools. So you know what? If I am going to be a promotional tool, yeah, I will take a book, thanks. Because I can’t be paying someone ELSE to be a promotional tool all the time. I get how this works- I am not saying that it’s WRONG that we are marketing strategies- I knew what I was signing up for, as I assume everyone does when requesting a book- but then don’t act holier than thou by saying it’s blasphemous to take a “free” book. Because nothing is free. – Anonymous
  • Mostly, I want to be able to speak my damn mind. I have been afraid to do that for a long time. And since I am posting this without my name, I guess I still am. – Anonymous
  • I love 99.999% of the things that happen here. But let’s just remember that there’s ALWAYS another point of view, another side to every story, no matter the situation. – Anonymous
  • And to end on a positive note, this community saved me. Things have been hard for me- really hard- personally. And before I got involved with book blogging, things were really bad. Now I feel like I have a home and a voice, and I will be eternally grateful. – Anonymous
  • OH and I confess that I am so happy that Nick and Nereyda have teamed up and have one of my favorite blogs ever. <3 – Anonymous
  • Inflated ratings are EVERYWHERE. It makes me want to punch people in the face. – Anonymous
  • I feel like a lot of the time my blog is wasted and no one is reading or even visiting my blog. Makes me want to give up multiple times a week. – Anonymous
  • I hate leaving a comment on a blog and the blogger either never responds or doesn’t visit my blog and comment. – Anonymous
  • I really don’t get bloggers who tweet things like “I got a super exciting email in my inbox from @publicistX”. What is the point of such tweets other than to name-drop and try to make others feel jealousy? Don’t tell me you’re trying to help publicize the book or just being nice to say thanks to the publicist. Because no, you’re not publicizing the book and you can thank the publicist in an email. – Anonymous
  • I trust very few reviewers. There are certain bloggers where it’s clear they’re “friends” with publicists for the perks and nothing more. If they’d have met on the street, they wouldn’t be friends. – Anonymous
  • I am so annoyed by all those bookish rep searches… Most of us already love the products and would buy the products on our own.  We don’t need someone who takes pretty pictures to tell us to buy it and it annoys me that their blog/social media accounts basically turn into infomercials which feel very forced… – Anonymous
  • No matter what some people say, this community is very cliquey. – Anonymous
  • The book blogging community is not all fucking rainbows and sunshine. There are a lot of problematic underlying issues. – Anonymous

Do you agree or disagree with any of these confessions?
Let us know in the comments below!
Thank you to everyone who submitted a confession!


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Nick & Nereyda

Nick & Nereyda

Nick & Nereyda are two book obsessed friends who bond over their love of Friends and pretty much everything else!

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  • I never quite understood the ‘popularity’ of some bloggers?? How & why?? What makes their reviews & blogs different to ours – this baffles me.. I miss the way things used to be when I first started blogging too.

    I completely agree with this -> constantly worry that I’m insignificant in this community because I don’t have that many friends on Twitter and such. At the same time, I’m beyond thankful for all the great friends I also do have.

    I’m a romance driven reader too, I really can’t see this changing 😉

    Love these confession posts ladies! I can really relate.

    X Sharon

    • Right? I see bloggers who put in way more time and effort in their blogs review than some of these people. Actually, most of these bloggers that request a crap ton of ARC’s don’t ever end up reviewing them. I guess talking about the book non-stop on twitter is okay nowadays. If so, publishers should let us know so we don’t waste our time on actual reviews!

      I’ve accepted the fact that Twitter is not for me and that’s okay. I have good friends I talk to through chat or via blog comments 🙂

  • OOOOH these are amazing! AMAZING. And I am only responsible for a handful 😉 But Nereyda, I was actually yelling and pointing at my computer screen- like “YES, that! Exactly that!” at basically ALL of your confessions. I was just talking to a few friends the other day about the author reviews. MAN it makes my blood boil. Look, I get it, you want to support your friends. Cool! But there are WAY better ways to do it. Ways that make me less stabby. Because nothing is more irritating than going to Goodreads, and seeing a book that has like, a 4.87 rating.. only to see it plummet 2 days after the book is on sale because actually, no, it sucks.

    The bragging… oh it needs to stop. I don’t CARE if someone got an email from a publisher (why would anyone even share that?) or whatever. Posting a book haul is one thing, but other than that, STFU. I am glad that you say “fuck” in reviews, because it makes me feel better when I do it too 😉 I do stand by my 6th star though- technically it isn’t a 6th star, it’s just a “favorite” kind of thing. Not sorry 😉 I am APPALLED by whoever is taking money and not disclosing. That is absolute crap. And I can kind of imagine a person or people who’d do that, sadly.

    Nick, I see through the bullshit too. It is ridiculous. Does anyone actually think it’s sincere? They can’t, right? It gives me a twitch! I feel you with the debuts too. The thing that makes me the saddest is that I actually got involved with one LONG before it became a trend, but it’s also happening later, which means it will SEEM super old after the 7 million other ones. But whatever, nothing I can do about that. I saw that there is a Twitter chat for (ready for it?) a book that doesn’t come out until MARCH. Freaking MARCH, Nick. How is anyone who doesn’t have the aforementioned ass-kissing generated ARC access going to participate? OH and I think that Instagram has to be a full time job or something- I can’t do it AT. ALL. I got a kind of decent one like, once. And it took about 3 hours, and got barely any likes, so I quit 😉

    Now, my lovely other friends: Zach, it’s okay, I think we’ll probably have to get a book hoarder support group, but I feel you. I have done it for books I had ARCs of and wanted finished copies of, or had ebooks but wanted physical, etc. And I also am wayyyy too wrapped up in my stats. OH and the rep searches? Over it! Seems like since one person did it, now every person who ever sold anything is doing it, and my Instagram feed is just one big old rep search. Yawn.

    I feel bad about the comment stuff, and the person who feels like no one is reading their blog. I try SO hard and I know I fail at commenting sometimes. But I never want anyone to be hurt by it- it’s one of my biggest worries as a blogger. Maybe if I stopped leaving so many novella comments… 😉

    And Nick and Nereyda, you should do this again sometime, because let’s face it- in a couple months, we are going to have all new stuff to get off our chests!

    • Re: the 6 star comment, I do not mean you or anyone who has 6 star ratings. What I meant by that was the influx of mostly indie bloggers who rate everything 6, 6+++ or Top Favorites but refuse to rate anything lower than a 3. Newsflash, if your rating scale is 2-6 stars, then it’s the same thing as all the normal 1-5 star rating scales…

      I’m glad you agree with so many confessions Sharon. I was just telling Nick that I didn’t realize I had a crap ton of confessions until a few hours ago, but oh well, I have to get this shit off my chest!
      Ugh, the author reviews drive me insane! And must they really brag when they get an ARC??? Bad enough we get it from bloggers, I don’t want to see author’s doing that too…
      All the twitter chats drive me crazy too, but not as crazy as when bloggers get possessive over the twitter chats. I saw someone call out a blogger who was planning a debut author chat/event for 2017 authors because they were ‘copying’ them. 2017!!!
      You’re Instagram comments made me laugh. I always tell Nick ‘where do they have time to take all these pictures and arrange all these props??’ The pictures are very pretty but I don’t have the time or skills. I just joined Instagram a few weeks ago, but it’s not very book related, more of a personal account for my other blog.
      Commenting is hard! I only have time to do it like once a week and I always hate feeling like I forgot to reply or visit someone. I’m trying to follow more blogs, which of course means more time spent commenting. But oh well.
      And I love your novella comments 🙂
      Hit us up next time you want to get more confessions off your chest and we can put another one together!

  • Off topic but Nereyda, don’t read Nick & Norah. I make that mistake years after the movie came out.

    • I actually have no idea what it’s about, but good to know 🙂

      • I read it, thought it was okay, but I must prefer Rachel Cohn’s solo novels 🙂 (Hanging out for the third BETA novel…)

        • I have yet to read any of her books, I’ll never have enough time to read all the books on my TBR and that is just…sad haha 🙂

  • If I’m brutally honest I guess you could say I was one those people with ARC envy when I first started and that’s my confession. But then 4 years down the line my opinions have changed. The way I have a blog has changed. It’s lovely to receive ARCs, but then truth be told you have the stress and worry about you, when to read it, time is ticking that sort of thing and it’s gets depressing. I can feel that way about it. I hate when I receive books I never requested them, that’s more books and sometimes I feel it can be a waste.
    I feel I’m I proud of having the tight group of blogger friends and I think that what’s counts, I’m not popular but the way it should be. You enjoy what you make of your blog and the books you read.
    Sometimes, I can’t read what the publishers give me, I work with books on a daily basis which I love but can be draining and then reading and blogging on top, can be worse, so I blog when I happy and not tired from the day, that’s why I’m not always around on my blog, so I can have some space a bit, if that makes sense.

    Wow. I don’t think I written a longer post than this before. Haha, this is such a great post, I just feel I’ve completely relieved some of that pressure.

    • I don’t think there is anything wrong with ARC envy, envy is a natural emotion. We all get it!
      But it does annoy me when bloggers go to book conferences, take a million pictures of their books then caption it with something like ‘Be jealous!’
      If I get books I didn’t request and I don’t want to read them, I either give them to my niece or my library. I don’t think it’s fair to add more stress to your life trying to fit in these books you didn’t ask for.
      Thanks for your comment!

      • That would annoy me too. I think for me with the ones I have been too. I’ve just enjoyed for what it is. And felt privileged to meet the people who create books like we read. I give them to my work too, I work in a library too, so at least I know they are read and in a good home. Exactly, that’s why I’ve limited the amount I request to the ones I would like.

      • I constantly see this on Twitter and it’s so annoying. I’ve unfollowed so many people because of this. There’s nothing wrong with showing books you got, but when they’re CONSTANTLY shoving them down our throats it gets kind of annoying.

        • I’m glad you know what I’m talking about. I don’t mind people sharing their hauls, I do it! But the bragginess and name dropping is just not necessary…

  • All I can think of now is: I hope I don’t do any of the things they hate… O_O

    • Haha, oh no! We don’t want you to think that. Anyway, you’re safe 🙂

  • This was such a great idea of yours, guys! I love it. A ton of these confessions are just so on point, especially these ones:

    Bragging about being friends with authors and what ARC you’ve gotten from them last one. Like no one cares if you’re ‘friends’ with all the debuts. No one cares. Except maybe the debuts themselves. Because you’ll read and at least do a halfway type of their review.
    I love your whole “I love your book, but stay away” policy, Neryda, that is so smart to do and it NEEDS to be done more often. Just because you like an author’s book, it doesn’t mean you have to go and be all buddy buddy with them. My gosh. Whoa, who are these bloggers who charge money and don’t have a disclaimer for this? Tch. It is hard to say no to publicists when you aren’t sure if not doing this one review/tour/post will make them “cut you off”, but even if that did happen, they most likely are not the type of publicist you want to do posts for anyway.

    Amen to coming out with more NON-Debut books.

    Ah, you need to read Nick and Norah!

    I have a lot of books in my bookcase, it’s filled. Then I have boxes in a storage box and then I have books stacked on top of each other on my desk and dresser…And then there might also be some in the laundry room closet. Oops! 🙂 Netflix takes up a ton of my reading time too, there’s just so much to watch and reading takes effort, haha. Omg, you need to use Twitter! So we may converse. Ew, anyone who backlashes someone for having a differing opinion over a book isn’t even worth worrying over. I hate to think people aren’t honest with their reviews all the time. Amen, sucking up to people publicists and authors is just like, ew, like get away with that.

    YES YES YES YES YES ABOUT THE DEBUTS FIVE STARRING THEIR OTHER DEBUTS. I was just talking about this sort of with some friends, so yeah. I don’t like it, at all, it’s sketchy and there’s a conflict of interest and I just hate it. HATE IT. Just stop, authors. I know some of the ratings are real, but let’s BE real, not EVERY. SINGLE. DEBUT. AUTHOR. is going to like everyone else’s debut. That is life and it’s okay and ew the sucking up continues. I agree! I don’t think authors should be able to review other authors books at all. It’s unfair.

    Now for Nick’s confessions:
    Aw, it’s so sad to see a blogger left that you aspire to be like. 🙁 I didn’t know that blogger but I’m sorry, that’s sad. <3 I agree about the bloggers buttering up authors, that crap isn't okay and to be honest, it's weird. Like I said above, I definitely don't trust reviewers who I see talking to every. single. author., like no. I think that about people requesting a lot of ARCs too, to be honest, I do the same thing, but I do review everything, eventually and I don't not review stuff on purpose.

    Once again, I agree about the debut features.
    I've never read HP but did half see the movies (Yeah, half see, I didn't pay attention all the way to all of them). I feel the same with Twitter! I don't have many friends either so…well, yeah. Authors following on Twitter can be so bad for themselves. 🙁 I know some would be okay with a negative review, but not all will and they should be careful on who they follow. I write almost everything right before it goes live. ;D Bad habit… I'm not good at Instagram either, mostly because my phone doesn't let me use it and I don't have good spots to take pics, haha.

    Now for the Fellow Bloggers confessions:
    I agree with what everyone says about people sucking up to authors and publicists. I'm like that too with music! I can't really have noise when I read or I won't be able to focus. I care about stats too, but that's calmed down a lot. I can't remember the last time I even looked at my stats. Name-dropping is the worst, like, we all see what you're doing. I admit that I do happen to do this occasionally, but it's not very often at all and it's from the only publisher I get physical ARCs from, so I don't feel bad. It's definitely not to make anyone jealous, ha, I'm the jealous one here.

    • I used to talk a lot to authors and I’m not gonna lie, I thought it was freaking cool! Still do. Until I read a book by them I hated or didn’t like and things just got weird. Do you joke about it? Pretend you didn’t give their book 2 stars? It was better (for me) to just keep my distance and support them in my own way.

  • This is awesome idea! I loved reading these confessions and it is freeing to share mine, so here you go 🙂
    As I already said, I agree with you Nereyda about dont understanding why some reviewers are popular if all they do is write summaries of the story in the book. 6+++ stars reviews also annoy me. And there is another thing in blogging community that I dont like – bloggers who are popular because they have giveaway every single day and no interesting posts. And I just cant trust blogger who gives 5 stars to every book she/he reads. It means instant unfollow for me.
    “Groupies” mentality discourages me to read book by author as well, thats why I am no longer reading book by Tarryn Fisher, she and her hardcore fans have very strange online presence. Also, once author/blogger backups someone who plagiarized, I am done with these people. Thats why I am no longer reading books by Colleen Hoover, Tarryn Fisher, Tara Sivec or read MadisonSays blog because they were part of “Shay Savage plagiarizing debacle” couple of year ago and tried to find excuses for author who plagiarized. This should not be acceptable in bookishcommunity. No matter who you are friends with, once your “friend” plagiarized someone, you just simply cannot be publicly okay with it. This is social suicide and I am surprised that not more people are aware of what happened and that those authors are still popular.
    And I simply do not pay attention to ARC envy. There will always be bloggers who would kiss ass to get free books. It is given. It is nice to get ARCs, I dont deny that. But I wouldnt lose “myself” in the process or sell my pride.

    • I have no idea what the Shay Savage incident is, but I have a few authors I wont read books by anymore (including Fisher) because her fans are too intense for me.
      It is nice to get ARC’s but I’ve learned that they aren’t all that…
      You know we agree regarding the popular bloggers/6++ books.

      • I made a mistake. It was SHEY STAHL not Shay Savage (I always confuse these two names, my bad). Simply said, one Shey Stahl plagiarized, her ex-editor pointed it out so Stahl changed editors (someone from Madison Says) and book was edited and published nontheless (even though ex-editor contacted new editor and told her about all stolen parts from other story). When readers found out and pointed all stolen scenes, big authors backed up Madison Says (because they were friends with her) and basically backed up Shey Stahl as well. It was even taken to the court and Stahl had to of course took her book from market. It happend back in 2013 and couple of authors went to my shit list beacuse of that…

        • Hmmn, I wanna say I remember some of that but not all the details. But yes, I’m getting tired of that group of authors too. Which is sad because I love CoHo’s books. (except for November 9, I hated that one). I don’t blame you for shit listing them.

  • I have to take a moment and think that maybe I’m very new to the book blogging community, or I’m just not paying enough attention, because I still haven’t witnessed any of those really bad things you guys mentioned – though with so many people saying, I’m pretty sure they’re true. My guess is that maybe I’ve been reading only smaller blogs, like mine, and I’ve missed these very important (and not so cool) things? Probably!
    Great post, some of the confessions are on point 🙂

  • I’m just so heavily impacted by this post at the moment, I’m not quite sure what I can say but thank you Nick and Nereyda for giving a platform to air a lot of the issues that are wrong with the blogging community. There is just so much negativity, so much competition, so much sucking up and jealousy causing and bragging and showing off and generally non-friendly, competitive, bitchy behaviour here that sometimes I just want to turn off my social media and walk away….but at the end of the day there is so much I love about the community, all the friends, all the lovely people I’ve met who are NOT like that that that’s why I’m here to stay. I’m a bit teary now because this post just brought to light so many things and of course, even being here for over 3 years I sometimes feel overly affected by it all but you know? Fuck everyone else, I’m here because I love it 😀

    • Aw thanks Jeann! I want blogging to back to the fun and carefree way it was a few years ago. I miss bloggers like Giselle who were super popular but so damn nice to EVERYONE! Not just their group of friends. I may not be able to change these problems, but I can choose who I surround myself with. 🙂

  • When you guys asked for submissions I couldn’t think of anything. Then I read these and am like oh yeah! That too! Ha. This is great. My confession is I stink at Twitter or promoting my posts at all. I should care more but I don’t have the time really. I miss half of the drama out there I think because I am not on Twitter a lot. But that is probably for the best right??? Anyways love this – Great idea ladies!

    Grace @ Rebel Mommy Book Blog recently posted: TTT Books Recently Added to my TBR
    • Part of me doesn’t care about promoting our posts at all either… but then I’ll see Nick’s tweets (she even promotes my tweets, which she totally doesn’t have to) and I feel like such a slacker. But then I don’t know what to say. Like ‘…hey…read my post…please…’ haha.

  • *claps* Thank you for writing this. 🙂
    Honestly, I kinda lost interest in book blogging in the last quarter of last year because of several reasons that I have just read here. But after looking back and thinking why I started blogging, I realize why care? It’s my damn blog and I’m gonna do what I want. I fangirl a LOT when a favorite author responds to me but call them friends? I don’t think so.
    I love this post. 😀

    • One time Richelle Mead replied to my tweet and I honestly freaked the fuck out. I screenshotted it and everything, but sadly we are not besties 🙂
      Yup, do and blog whatever way makes you happy Ella!

  • Jaz

    Great post and very honest. I liked the conflicting opinions come up from other bloggers because it shows how we’re all different. I’ve definitely seen some of this stuff and agree but also I think I’ve sort of been sheltered in that I don’t “hang around” too often to notice some of the other things.
    Ashamed to admit I’m one of those people who don’t reply to comments on my blog as I’m so busy but I do read comments when I have time and reply when I can!

    • It sometimes takes me a week (or three) to reply or comment back, I totally get how a busy life can get in the way of that.
      It’s time consuming!

  • I love this post. It express so much that I have been thinking. I don’t really know where to begin with all this, there are so many things that I agree with, that it would end up as long as your post and I don’t want to bore you haha.
    One thing that I find really hard to blogger popularity. This year is the start of my 5th year of blogging and I have less followers than people that have been blogging for a few months or when no one comments on my posts- yes it does hurt because it makes me think about what I am doing wrong. Are my review boring, are my post :/.
    But I have learnt to try and get over it. I am reviewing books for me and to spread the love for books that I adore, or say way I didn’t like a book.
    Thank you so much for this post seriously.

    • I totally understand your frustration Angel. We’ve been blogging a little over 4 years and I still feel like not a lot of people even know who I am because I’m not really on social media…

  • Wow, what a fantastic post. You guys, everything you said I completely agree with! It does suck that a lot of people are afraid to speak their mind, I am, for sure. I get worried about some discussion posts and what I am realizing, I need to not care. Blogging is about me, reading is about me…yes, I do want my readers to be happy, but if I’m not happy then there’s no point on continuing with this.

    I have tried getting into Twitter, but lately, I just can’t. There are so many “popular” people and if I try to comment they’ll avoid me like the plague. It sucks to see that. One of the other bloggers said that this community is cliquey and I totally feel like it is. I get we have our certain close friends in the community, but to completely ignore other bloggers that aren’t in your “clique” is just awful. This community is about books and our undeniable love for them, ugh. I’m just frustrated and applaud you two for sharing all your amazing confessions!

    • I don’t blame you for feeling that way Erica! And that just sucks.
      I always panic and lose sleep and stress over my discussion posts, but I don’t like feeling intimidated into silence.
      This community is so cliquey, no matter what people say.

  • It looks like you guys got a lot off your chest, and I’m so glad. Props for you guys for actually saying something about this shit! (I don’t agree with a couple, but that’s just me not caring about certain things lol)

    The bragging? The weird befriending author and publicists thing? The kissing ass? I see it all the time. Especially on Twitter. And it makes me extremely bothered. I use my time and pour my soul into reviews for books, and I see people who get books that they don’t end up reviewing on their blog. Oh the worse is when people go to book conventions, and the moment they walk out they try to trade the books for other things. WHAT IS THE POINT OF GOING TO THOSE EVENTS? And can’t you just ATTEMPT to read the books? Show them a little love?

    I originally started my blog to share my love of books, but I see marketing departments exploit that concept for promotion. And yes, I would love promoting books, but only the ones that I sincerely enjoy. The reviewers that give top stars for authors just because they’re famous or popular need to re-evaluate their actions. Like seriously, thanks for leading the rest of us readers astray, guys.

    I totally get you on the reviews that are wanna-be blurbs! I see this especially with “popular” bloggers. I’ll click on their ‘review’, and after I finish reading I’m just like “WHAT is this book even about??” Why bother to write a review when you’re just recapping the book, lol. They may write with excessive descriptions, but I’d rather go for the review that actually analyzes it.

    I love that you guys are doing this, because it basically highlights most of the problem in our blogging community. But at the same time, (I just read this quote): “Spend more time smiling than frowning and more time praising than criticizing.” So while these things are quite true, there are also many things in the community that make it worth it. (Like the wonderful friends we make and the books we read.) 🙂

    • That’s perfectly okay Alia, we don’t always have to agree on things just like we don’t always agree on book ratings. 🙂
      It always happens after every event and I don’t understand either. Whyyyy get the books then???
      Nothing annoys me more than wasting my own money (even if it’s only $.99!) to buy a book because of all the glowing reviews then end up hating it and realizing that the majority of reviews are from superfans who are uprating. Errrgggh!
      Very true, this is why I surround myself with my group of bloggers and friends and viewers, they make me want to keep blogging despite all these issues.

  • I could lick both your faces right now, this is not only brave, but sharing this will help less confident bloggers know they’re not alone. Let’s be honest, it’s bad assed too.

    I’ve had to stop following bloggers on Twitter over the book chats. I mean, when your tweeting the same shit over and over followed by end on #gjjtrscnktre that no one knows what the fuck it stands for, it gets annoying. Let’s get real, you’re trying to boost your own profile.

    The kiss ass blogger / author relationship I’ve actually only noticed lately but I’ll be honest, it smells of desperation. I do have a few author mates, but it’s a 100% mutual friendship and not to brown nose or promote them. Latching onto an author for free books? Surely that can’t work but nothing surprises me.

    I must admit, I love seeing younger bloggers and new blogs with ARC excitement. Seeing them get a most wanted book on the mail really makes my day. Even after three years of blogging, I still see myself as a very small fish in a mother of a pond and it can feel like seasoned bloggers perpetuate that further by playing up that superiority. That’s my biggest issue. I don’t care if you’ve got 10 followers or 10 million, we’re all equal here and showing off doesn’t make you any less of an asshole.

    I think the Aussie community are pretty good overall. We’ve got our share of tossers, but it’s not malicious and if I seen someone on the path to.tooldom, I wouldn’t hesitate calling them out on their assholeary.

    I fucking LOVE this post!

    Kelly recently posted: Breathtaking... Swallow The Air
    • That’s what we were hoping for Kelly, but it didn’t work 🙁
      I’m laughing at your twitter hashtag comment because I NEVER know what they mean! Then I end up making up names for them in my head.
      And yes, I don’t care if a blogger has 20 or 20K followers, if I like them/their reviews then I will follow.
      I’m a little jealous of you Aussies, everything seems way more laid back in your world.

  • Elle

    I raise my hand and say, “Wow I’m guilty for some of those.” Thank you for having this space open for blogger problems/confessions. 🙂

    I do have the “ARC envy” or probably “ARC anxiety.” Not that big though. The envy comes probably because I’ve been dying for a book or story. The anxiety comes from the fact that after the ARC is out, no one is safe from spoilers. And I’ve seen bloggers write them without warning. 🙁

    But I do understand. I don’t have a big enough platform to raise awareness/hype of a book, unlike some people.

    I have no qualms being friends to authors. I’m friends w some of them. No, not because, or probably not only because they’re authors. Rather, we have common interests (fav bands, fav books, political views, etc)… you know, common interests are what build friendship. It’s how I met my bestest of friends. 🙂
    However, never, never did I ask them for ARC. They hold giveaways and I join. Their publishers ask for reviewers and if I got lucky then great.

    Moreover, I never read a book I hate. Okay, 2 books, so far, in 5 years I rated below 2 stars and that’s it. I think some people rarely dislike a book. There’s quite a number of us. 🙂

    • I am definitely guilty of some too, I think we all are at some point or another. Oh well, that’s how we learn 🙂
      I have no problems with people that simply know what they love to read and like almost everything they read. What bothers me is when they are scared/uncomfortable or just refuse to give books a low rating. You can write a negative review in a respectful way, and as a reader, I want to read all reviews (good and bad) before determining if I want to buy a book.

  • “I constantly worry that I’m insignificant in this community because I don’t have that many friends on Twitter and such. At the same time, I’m beyond thankful for all the great friends I also do have.”

    I FEEL YOU NICK!!! I have this same feeling, especially when I see other bloggers with a gazillion followers who talk to authors and publicists like they’re best friends. I’m not great at social media. I’m not. I tweet my reviews and occasionally respond to other people’s tweets but other than that, I’m quiet in this community social media-wise and getting quieter every year to avoid the constant drama that seems to happen on Twitter. As a result, there are times I feel like my blog isn’t good enough because I get rejected by a publisher on Edelweiss or NetGalley (which is silly because it’s not personal but I can’t help it!), but I just try and remember that the people I do talk to and hear from are AMAZING and I don’t need anything more than that.

    And some bloggers are getting paid for their reviews? Really? I feel super naive, I didn’t know we’d quite gotten to that point yet!

    • Nothing like a NG or EW rejection to bring you back down to Earth, right?
      I don’t like Twitter either and always feel like I’m not doing things right because of it.
      Re: your last comment. I think this is more of an issue in the Indie community, but I don’t know how long until it crosses over to the YA community…

  • I never comment on any blogs, but I felt like this time I owed it to you guys — these confessions are so great to hear, and I think by speaking out loud, some issues might find their way to be fixed. And to end on a positive note, I love your blog and the reviews! <3

    • That’s what we were hoping for Laura, but I guess in these community we aren’t allowed to share our thoughts which is sad…
      Thanks for your comment 🙂

  • Well well well guess who has to crawl out of her cave and actually type a comment of YES YES YES HOLY GUAC THERE IS NOT A SINGLE ONE THAT I DISAGREE WITH. I always read posts on my phone nowadays which means I dont often type out comments bcz I’ll make spelling mistakes and I’m lazy ew but wow, I gotta profess my love for you both.

    You guys hit the nail on the head with this post. From the kiss ass behaviour heightened for all us to see thanks to good ol twitter (lolz I cant even with the tweets I see nowadays) to the celeb status for certain people, the mon mentality when someone just so happens to have an opinion that doesnt sit well with like the elite few and hence the rest of the mass. Omg I could go on for days. Basically, wow. I got bitterness lmao.

    Great community, but shit man, there’s like systemic issues that peeps are scared to address and one day its just gonna go crazy. And then our feeds will be flooded again and again with drama end on end. Fun.

    Thanks for the fab post, you guys!!! Had legit a great laugh because where is the lie??

    • Jessssss! Where have you been?? Hope you are doing better and com back to blogging soon.
      Just goes to show, you haven’t been blogging for a while, yet you are aware of all these issues…
      Thanks for your comment 🙂

  • These are so funny, not because they are actually funny but because I have to laugh because I can relate to so MANY of them!

    It does make it nice to know that I’m not the only one that has issues with the way some things are seen or handled. I do love reading and I do love blogging but sometimes it does seem like a competition and I don’t care for that at all. I do this because I love it, not because of anything else and while I do love ARCs, they really aren’t everything.

    • I’m so relieved to know we aren’t the only ones that feel this way either Ali.
      I’m so over ARC’s…

  • Thank you so much for this post. When the #back2basicsblogging thing was happening, I wrote something about how I wished celebrity bloggers were less of a thing and other smaller bloggers could be heard more, and a couple people seemed really offended by that and I didn’t know how to stand up for myself at the time. It made me feel a lot better today to see that other people also feel there are still “celebrity” bloggers.

    • It makes me sad when bloggers are made to feel ashamed for their opinions, that was supposed to be the whole point of this post. A safe place for bloggers to talk about issues that bother them, that’s why we had an ‘anonymous’ option…

  • I had this whole long comment in my head and when I came to type, it’s just. Gone.

    I agree with 99% of the confessions. I may or may not be guilty of some, as majority of us are. It really sucks that we all pretty much feel insignificant, and afraid to speak our minds. Yet, there are people that I know have repeated things I say and the backstabbing is endless, so I see the hesitation.There are many “fake” people and it’s hard to find your group. Anyway, since I forgot to add in mine, I will post some here.

    I don’t see many debut author features. I might skip them? I also had to read this a few times because the DEBUT part was not computing. (I’m just like, wtf is wrong with features??? LOL)

    I think there is a fine line with talking w/authors and “being friends” but I do feel others think they are doing them favors. Which isn’t okay. But. it’s okay to be friendly with them. We are all in the same community.

    ARC envy is probably one of the worst things about the community. It tears people apart. Yet, it’s okay to be envious but there is such a thing as taking it too far. Begging for ARCs? Sorry, no. See entitlement below.

    ENTITLEMENT. I feel like there are a lot of bloggers with this issue, or expect since they have x followers, they deserve something more. Not. Okay.

    Just because someone has been blogging for 3-5 years, doesn’t make them a celeb. Hell, I just hit 3 years and still get stupid excited about anything with my blog. I am in no way a celeb.

    I sometimes feel like I have to “play nice” with certain bloggers for fear of retaliation. It’s okay to not like each other, we are human. That doesn’t mean I ACT like I like them, or talk to them. It’s just.. hard to me. Word of mouth spreads fast and I have been known to be rough around the edges.

    I also feel like if I don’t do something BIG and SIGNIFICANT, I will be forgotten about. Which ties into feeling insignificant.

    I hate pre order campaigns, because I don’t EVER preorder. They don’t sit right with me at all.

    Giveaways. I am tired of being accused of buying my readers. I pick my winners. I pay for it out of my own money. – said this on twitter –

    That’s all I got for now! LOL I will come back and read more later and possibly add some. ANd don’t worry about the drama, we all knew it could happen but a lot of this stuff needed to be said and you handled it well.

    • Thanks for your comment Tonya, because drama was exactly what we didn’t want! Sucks that we are made to feel bad for voicing our opinions with the problems in this community. And people wonder why so many bloggers submitted their reviews anonymously…

      I’ve been blogging for 4 years and I still feel like unless you follow my blog, then you have no idea who I am. But I’m okay with that.

      Oh and I hate when people complain about giveaways, if I’m gonna give something away out of my own pocket, then I don’t see the problem with wanting a damn follow or like in return. Nobody is making you enter the giveaways.

      Ugh, the preorder campaigns have to stop! They don’t bother me much in YA books, but they are ridiculous in the Indie community…

      And I’m sure I’ve done my fair share of these myself at some point. Nobody is perfect.

  • I really enjoyed reading all these confessions, both yours (Nereyda and Nick) and others. I have you tell you, I see so many bloggers being frustrated with the drama. And I understand that completely. But I also think that it’s not too difficult to take a step back. I really think blogging is what you make it. And it’s easy to get drawn into the crazy stuff, but with a little more effort, we can just focus on the awesome stuff.

    By far the best thing that has happened to me regarding blogging is the friends I’ve made. It took me a LONG time to really make some good ones. But now I have them, and it makes me happy.

    Oh, and seriously with the Debut Authors thing. ugh!. That is soooo not something I pay attention to. I don’t give a hoot whether a book is a debut or not. I care about whether I want to read it. That’s it. Backlist items are super important and amazing too.

    I’m glad that everyone had a chance to vent. It’s so important to be able to get things off your chest.

    • I agree with you, I’ve had to take a few breaks sometimes because I’m so annoyed by all of this.
      Meeting friends has been the best part of blogging too. I’ve found friends who have become a daily fixture in my life and I’m super thankful for that.
      I get the idea of the debut author thing, I do. Bloggers want to promote their books and that’s fine. It’s the possessiveness of the thing that gets on my nerves. Like nobody can do it just because X is doing it.
      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  • I have felt all of these at some time or the other. I don’t get celebrity bloggers either, and not just in the book blogger industry. All these youtube kids that get book deals – like what have you done?

    But book blogging has changed an awful lot in the past five years. Of course, ARCs are always going to be the source of many gripes, but nowadays it’s even MORE competitive. I felt that, at least, five years ago, book bloggers would be very encouraging to those who were coveting ARCs, but now it’s all to take pictures and show the world of how much publishers like you. I really do wonder how many of these books get reviewed. And does it REALLY help promote a book if the blogger only tweets/takes pictures of it? I’m honestly curious, it’s still marketing the book…just without any real substantial content.

    Great post ladies!

    • OMG, all the youtube success is crazy! Part of me is like ‘way to go!’ while another part is ‘whaaaaaat?’
      Well, I gotta say, if authors publishers care more about pictures and twitter shout outs then I want to know cause I can save myself a lot of time by doing that instead of wasting my time on reviews…

  • I agree with some things but I’m now finding myself feeling a little bit afraid of doing some of these things that are apparently bothering people. I post pictures of the ARC’s I get on instagram and I definitely don’t mean to be ‘braggy’ in anyway. In fact, I don’t keep the ARC’s, I give them back to the bookstore I work at. But does everyone think I’m bragging? Now I don’t know if I should post pictures on instagram of them…
    I don’t usually say I’m ‘friends’ with an author online but I did just say that in the bookstore the other day. It is an author I am actually good friends with in real life though, we have coffee and meet up semi regularly. So I’m going to go with that’s different and not overthink it.
    I post promo posts sometimes. For blitzes and cover reveals, etc. BUT I don’t do them super often. Not more than once a week usually. But what annoys me is when I go to a blog and they have posted like 30 in ONE DAY. That’s annoying. They shouldn’t even be posting one a day. When I scroll through a blog and that’s all I see I figure it’s a blog I’m not too interested in reading. BUT, it’s their blog, if they want to do that it’s fine. I don’t have to read it.

    I’m super crabby pants today but I guess lots of people are. 🙂

    • I’ve seen your instagrams and they are definitely not braggy at all! We post our book hauls every week and visit other STS posts from fellow bloggers so posting pictures of books/mail/ARC’s is NOT the issue.
      I know it’s possible to be real friends with authors and I think that’s cool.
      Some people blog for themselves, other do it because they love to promote books. I myself don’t usually follow bloggers who posts a lot of promos, but that’s up to them how they blog.
      Nobody is making us follow/read their posts 🙂

      • That’s a good point. I don’t do book haul posts so I’m just kind of doing it on instagram instead, and more spread out. I feel better now. I’m kind of in a weird mood today where I find it’s easy to take things personal.
        Yes, exactly, I agree that people can blog what they want, and we can choose to read the blogs we want to read. I probably could have worded things a little better. I read through my comment now and I never should have said they ‘shouldn’t’ do anything. Really, any blogger can do what they want, it’s their blog!

  • I use to have ARC envy when I first started blogging, but now I really don’t care for it. It’s the main reason why I don’t participate in book hauls or mailbox posts. I’m not on Twitter because I want to avoid all the drama. At times I feel guilty not doing so, but then after hearing and reading about the drama and fights that escalate from Twitter, I’m SO glad that I stayed off. I’m happy to be in my little world and all the friends that I met through the blogsophere.

    • Arc envy is a natural thing to experience, I don’t like when people make bloggers feel guilty for experiencing it.
      After today, I’m glad I stay away from Twitter!
      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  • Blogging has changed so much in just the last few years that i’ve been heavily involved in it. I remember when i started out there wasn’t so much ARC envy and shadiness in the blogosphere, i remember being closer to some authors and finding real joy in blogging. I still enjoy blogging, but my perspective has definitely changed. I’m not on top of reading and reviewing like others and if i don’t have time to participate in a blog tour or promote something, i don’t loose sleep over it. Also….Netflix is ruling my time, and i also don’t mind it. i love these honest confessions, you guys <3

    • OMG, Netflix is such a time suck! I used to feel super guilty for not reading instead, but not anymore 🙂

  • *Standing ovation* This post is everything. I have so many things I want to say but my mind is completely scrambled and awed at the honesty of this post. I can definitely relate to so many of these confessions.

    I definitely feel insignificant at times because I am not the best at navigating social media and I’m shy as well so I am in this constant state of not knowing if I can/should tweet something. I can also see how the cliques can be a deterrent for some people and how it can possibly make you feel like you don’t fit in with the community; I’ve experienced this plenty of times.

    I will admit that I do pay attention to the statistics and at times I do feel like I’m not original in my reviews/discussion and it does make me doubt my writing. I typically read about 30-40 books a year and most of the time they are book I know I am likely to enjoy so sometimes I feel like I have to go looking for negatives when I’m writing my reviews so I don’t sound overly positive about every book. I’m paranoid about being too kind with my ratings.

    The bragging is something that gets on my nerves. I don’t mind book hauls but the way some people are constantly shoving their connections in other peoples faces is so unnecessary. I also hate the pedestal some of the more popular blogs are placed on and treat them like they’re in a league of their own and can do no wrong.

    At the end of the day I started my blog because I wanted to discuss books and bookish related topics. I love getting to connect with other readers and I value their opinions even if they differ from mine. I find it sad how an honest discussion post can sometimes turn into an argument over nothing. Respect is the key and it’s important to value the differences in opinion even if you don’t agree with it.

    I have so much more I want to say but I have no idea how to word it but thank you both for writing this post and being so honest with the confessions. It is definitely something every blogger needs to hear.

    • I don’t think there is anything wrong with admitting you care about your stats. Obviously you want to know you are doing something people are actually seeing!
      The cliques…ugh.
      Thanks for your comment, I wish it wasn’t such a big deal to speak your mind but after today I can see why so many bloggers just stay quiet and why so many confessions were submitted anonymously.

  • Hey guys! Congrats on finally getting this post up, I’ve been waiting for a while!

    I think the best thing about this is seeing how I’m not the only one that thinks this way, someone who sees that yes there is negativity in the blogosphere, yes there is drama, but yes, there are also positives. The outrage on Twitter is to be expected, because anyone, and everyone, is allowed an opinion. And to be honest, I feel like the ones against this post are ones that only want positivity in the blogosphere. That isn’t going to happen, and it will never happen. This post and the comments just prove that because everyone here has agreed with you, so please DO NOT REGRET POSTING THIS.

    And with saying this, sure, some of these confessions may not be true. BUT THEY ARE OUR OPINIONS. When I was writing my confession, I didn’t even have anyone in mind. The bloggers who are mad think that this is about them, when it’s not. It really isn’t. And the fact that many people agree with you and the confessions should tell us as a whole that something is up.

    Nick and Nereyda, you guys are brave to post this, and although some people will hate you for it, MORE will back you up. Haters gonna hate

    • Valerie, I’m not gonna lie, your comment totally made my day so thanks for that!
      I love how everyone is just ignoring the fact that there are SO MANY PEOPLE WHO AGREE, which proves how much of a problem this is.

  • I could never befriend and author or publisher. I’m pretty picky and it’s not a far off possibility that I won’t like a book I get sent. In fact, I wrote a not-so-stellar review for the very first ARC I received on my blog. I felt awkward sending the link to the publisher, lol. But I wasn’t going to lie and say it was great. The publisher gave me a short thank you for the review then later saw them complimenting and retweeting from bloggers who wrote positive reviews (can you call them reviews? they were summaries with hardly any opinions included). I understand they want to spotlight positive things about the book they are selling, that’s fine. But those reviews were such non-reviews, I wondered if they even read the book. I wouldn’t be surprised if they just wanted to keep getting ARCs from the publisher so they tried to keep it positive. This is turning into a rant, but yes. I’ve been blogging for a couple of months and I can already see what’s in a lot of these confessions. It’s unfortunate. All I can do is just try to stay authentic on my end and hope it rubs off on others. Great post!

    • Ugh, the non-reviews kill me! I always wonder if they even read the book because anyone could do those ‘summary reviews.’
      I’m not saying it’s not possible to be friends with authors and not be biased, but it still makes me doubt and that’s enough for me.

  • Pingback: What Should We Do With ARCs? – Pages Unbound()

  • sometimes i want to add to the discussion and make myself memorable but all I can think to say is- yes, I agree. Full agreement. You are so totally right, hombre. Two thumbs up from this blogger right here #bloggerconfessions

    SJ Bouquet recently posted: 20 Reasons to Hate Blogging
    • Thanks so much SJ! Glad you liked this post 🙂

  • Such a great post, so much to absorb and so many things to discuss. I totally agree with Nereda’s points about bloggers befriending authors, I was close with a couple of authors when I started out, but now I am not, probably because I didn’t love everything they wrote. I don’t need the added pressure, so it’s best to just be a fan. I am tired of the bragging, the dishonesty and the drama that occurs, it is better now then when I first started blogging in 2011, so that is good. I, too, miss Sam from Realm of Fiction, she was a good friend, and One of the first people I connected with. She was with me from the get go, and I am sad that she disappeared. I hope she is okay. This is an awesome post. Thanks for putting it all together, I hope you will take some time in the upcoming weeks and expand on some of the points brought up.

    • I was the same way Heidi. At first it was super cool to talk to authors but then things just got weird after a while so I stopped. I’m not saying everyone should do this, but it just works for me. I would like to, but after all the backlash this post got today…probably not.
      Thanks for your comment 🙂

  • Wow this is such a kick ass post!! I totally agree with some of these. Probably my biggest blogger confession would be that I’m tired of everyone reading the same YA ARCS. I want to read some of these too, but there is a group of people that don’t read anything else but YA ARCS. I want to comment back on blogs, but sometimes I don’t know what I can say to the 50th review I’ve seen of the same book. So I hit mark as read on bloglovin. :/

    • Thanks so much!
      OMG, yes I soooo agree. We’ve started reading older books, older arc’s we didn’t get to, old chick lits and re-reading favorites. Nick even started a book club to focus on backlist books. The fanbase for the YA Fantasy book is super intense, I didn’t notice until now. I admit I do the same thing sometimes re: bloglovin. 🙂

      • That’s so cool about doing a book club to read backlist books. I need to read all the books I’ve bought already so I’m trying to focus on that this year. Yes the YA fantasy fan base is crazy. I love the genre too at times. 🙂

  • Wow, lol!!! I love you!! Really… I’m not kissing ass here, ok maybe a little lol. But only because you have the balls to say what you feel.I admire that. I feel like everyone walks on eggshells and kisses everyone’s ass. Because they get ARCs or bc they are just popular for whatever god damn reason. I feel like I never left freakin High School sometimes. Amazing post ladies xoxo

    • Aw, thanks Helena. That really means a lot to us! Today is proof that bloggers are made to feel ashamed for speaking their mind and I refuse to be one of them.
      Blogging is like high school, which makes me sad because I hated high school for that reason…

  • Great post! Megan and I have had discussions about many of these same things that irk us.

    I don’t receive ARCs. I haven’t in about a year and a half and I love the freedom it gives me. I also don’t do tours or promotions. I believe that blogger/publicist/author line is really blurred these days and I can’t stand it. I also pretty much unfollowed everyone because it seemed like blogging has become more about who can shout the loudest than about critically reviewing books. Luckily, it leaves me with the opinions that I really care about.

    I have one close author friend and I usually do state that we’re friends if I ever post anything about her books. My thinking is not to brag but to fully disclose that I likely have a bias. I pride myself in being honest but we talk every day, there is no way that doesn’t influence my opinion. So, I like to tell our readers that. I hope it doesn’t come across as braggy. I just don’t want to tell them to read a book and not let them know that she’s my friend. I’ve seen LOADS of authors write reviews of their close friends’ books without a peep that there might be a conflict of interest.

    I really dislike the whole shift in ratings. I always say that 5 stars should be enough for your favourite books, or your doing the ratings wrong. I also agree with Top Favourites. Ugh.

    I used to belong to a blogger group and there were so many complaints about authors not sharing their reviews and saying thank you. I was floored. I had no clue that so many people did this blogging thing to get a pat on the back and attention. I had to stop following cause I was always completely shocked and it ticked me off.

    • Oops! I meant loads of Bloggers, not authors.

    • Hildy, hi! *waves*
      Oh Megan and I have talked about most of this too and there have been private conversations with other bloggers who also feel the same way so I’m not making this up.
      I know it’s definitely possible to be close and real friends with authors, but not everyone and you can tell who is in it for the perks.
      Even though we joke about the ratings issue, it’s a real problem that is skewing reviews.
      I rarely promote/tag authors in my posts because I feel weird about it.
      Thanks for stopping by!

      • Hildy

        Yeah, I agree. Tagging authors feels weird to me as well.
        I’ve recently stopped giving out half stars cause I felt like those are skewing things as well. I know it’s hard to decide how to rate things sometimes but make a decision with what you’re given!

        And clickbait makes me want to punch myself in the face.

        • Clickbait makes me want to punch other people in the face 🙂

  • This post and the discussion and reaction that has come from it is really important. I’ve only gotten back into blogging for about a year now and I realized these issues really quickly. I honestly feel like no one reads my blog and I pay attention to stats so it’s a but discouraging, but I keep up because I remind myself that it’s not about stats. Plus I love a good challenge.

    Though I already feel the cliques and the certain relationships bloggers have with each other and I feel like it’s really hard to try and get into this community because you feel like you don’t want to intrude on people who are already great friends.

    And reviews? Keep them honest man. I can’t stand the idea of dishonest reviews. I have a pretty steady streak of 4-5 books but that’s because I genuinely found them entertaining and while something initially made the book a 3, the more I read the more it changed to a 4 or 5.

    Idk. I remember slightly this community being more for a group of readers who just needed a space to talk and now there’s this competition and this weird popularity contest.

    Alexa @ Words Off the Page recently posted: Top Ten Tuesday: Top Books I Just Added to My TBR
    • Hi Alexa!
      I’m glad you liked this post although I admit I’m disappointed by the drama it caused as that was not my intention. But, it goes to show how quickly things escalate and how fast people turn on you. And they wonder why most people submitted their confessions anonymously…
      My gr average rating is over a 4, but I definitely do not like every book and I’m not afraid to say so.
      It is a popularity contest now, no matter what anyone says.

      • I totally get it. I mean who wants to have all of this drama come out of the woodworks because people decide to express their opinions right? I just know that I logged onto twitter after getting out of my first class to be faced with that mess and I was really confused but also like “Wtf guys really?”. I mean it’s really hard for someone to be really into the community and wanting to join in if people are just throwing shade everywhere. From someone who doesn’t know a lot of people in the community, it’s kind of discouraging and really frustrating.

        And popularity contest? Why tho pls.

        • I logged off twitter yesterday after all the drama started because I don’t need that. I am allowed my opinion, just like everyone who shared their confessions.
          And I totally understand why newer blogs are discouraged by this behavior, I hope you stick around though 🙂

  • I’ve just discovered you guys’ blog and it’s magnificent!! So many great points in this post. The debut author feature especially drives me up the wall – like, no, just because someone else talks about debut authors doesn’t mean they stole your idea. Stop trying to trademark it. And I don’t get the blogger “celebrity” craze either. When I first started talking to more people through Twitter, I followed a bunch of the more well-known bloggers but have since unfollowed because I’ve realized that I actually don’t care what they have to say! ;o)

    I’m actually on the verge of stopping with my book blog – it’s not really fun for me anymore because I feel like ~The Community~ is always reading the same things and having the same opinions and YA fantasy is somehow superior to everything else and not enough people want to engage in thoughtful conversations about books. It’s like we’re just talking over each other & repeating the same conversations about the pros and cons of blogging. We should all probably just stop taking ourselves so seriously!?!

    • Welcome to our blog Tiffany!
      I’m sad to see you are on the verge of stopping and I wish you would consider it. If you just ignore all those people and focus on what you love about blogging and your blogging friends, it gets much better 🙂

  • Girl, you always speak the truth, and I love it! I agree with you, I’ve been a part of quite a few communities online and I have to say, the book blogging community, although great at times, can be overly dramatic. There’s too much competition and a lot of people are out for themselves or trying to one-up one another. It’s another reason why I’ve been stepping away from it all. I’m happy I’ve remained out of the drama in any case.

    And yeah, even if I value an author’s opinion as a person, I don’t trust their rating/review on books, because, come on now! Duh!

    I’m def feeling you on a lot of these confessions. Awesome!

    • Thanks Vi, that’s so nice to hear right now 🙂
      It’s so true what you say about this community even though we act like it’s all rainbows and butterflies and kum-ba-ya. If today has taught me anything, it’s how unforgiving and quick to escalate shit this community. Oh well…
      And yes, I always take author reviews with a grain of salt… but lately it’s gotten ridiculous.

  • I’ve just found your blog and I love it!! I’ve just started book blogging so I have no idea about the community (or how to become a part of it really) and not many of these confessions relate to me yet..

  • Just found your blog! Love the name – it’s what drew me to your blog. This is an AMAZING post! I totally get everything mentioned here 🙂 Especially yours, Nereyda, when you wrote, “If you are offended by one of my confessions…then you are probably guilty of doing them” But yeah, I’ve been guilty of buffing up my review by one star if the book is really hyped up – it’s something I’m trying to stop!! There’s definitely loads of pressure in this community, but there’s also a lot of support. I hope that one day it balances itself all out! 🙂

    Geraldine @ Corralling Books recently posted: The Keepsake blog tour!
    • Welcome to our blog Geraldine! I have to admit, I’m sort of in love with our blog name now. Finally! (I hated my old blog name)
      I see the people that are offended and can’t help but laugh because they are pretty much proving my point…
      I totally get you about the pressure. Nobody wants to be that one blogger (or so it feels like) that wasn’t wowed by the book everyone is raving about. Then if you didn’t like it, you have ‘bad taste.’
      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  • This is such a great idea, ladies. I hope you decide to do this again. I took advantage of the hashtag and wrote a few confessions on twitter today. 🙂 I agree with SO many of the ones you guys said. I read through your lists and I’m like, “Yes. YES. YES!!!!!” The blogging community as a whole is so different, and I guess I’m a creature of habit. I don’t like change, and the changes get to me quite a bit. It’s nice to have a place to vent without judgment. Love this, guys! <3

    • Sorry I missed them Lisa. I had to get off Twitter because it got crazy… but I’m glad that so many people agree with us and are being so supportive. 🙂

  • Hi, Nick & Nereyda:

    First time visiting your blog (sorry!), but I nodded a lot at your confessions, as well as those of the other confessors, too. I know some bloggers (no names in particular that I can think of, though) tend to be all-positive, all-the-time about the blogosphere, but I think it’s important NOT to sweep issues under the rug, because we can’t improve the community if we can’t discuss it openly.

    Then again, I don’t really feel like part of any community, more of a bystander/peripheral if anything.

    Venting is important for mental wellbeing (to get it out of one’s system), and I so hope people aren’t taking your post the wrong way. Thank you for writing it, and perhaps I’ll see you again 🙂

    • Obviously we aren’t the only ones that feel this way, so sweeping them under the rug and trying to quiet/shame/scare people out of their opinions is helping no one.
      I totally understand you, I’ve been blogging over four years and I never felt like I belonged in this community until a few months ago when I made some great blogger friends.
      Unfortunately this was taken the wrongest way possible, but oh well, what can we do now. We still stand by our post.

  • Dear Nick and Nereyda,

    This discussion is honestly brilliant and straightforward. I really love how you speak on your minds and what you truly feel. I do agree on majority of it. I don’t mind receiving ARCs but I don’t crave for them. I’ve been using NetGalley for years and there are times I abandon it for some reason. I just want to read without any pressure. I also don’t mind being friends with authors but I keep a professional relationship with them and will not exceed beyond. It’s sad that some bloggers are sweet talking to get what they want. (imo) I understand what you feel and I take this discussion constructively instead of being negative. I actually love this.

    I say kudos to both of you! 🙂

    • Thank you Beatrice, it’s nice to see our post came off to you as we intended because we definitely didn’t intend this to be negative.

  • Debbie

    I pretty much agree with all of this — except star ratings. There’s no rule, policy or law saying it has to be a 5-star scale. I see no reason anyone on their own blog/website can’t have a rating scale other than the 5-star scale most retail sites use (with 3 stars being okay/average) or the 5-star scale communities like goodreads and Leafmarks use ( with 2 stars being the okay/average). I remember one book site that used a Grade A-F scale.

    I’m tired of hearing authors and commercial interests blow up at bloggers and readers because their star rating is too low for them to get the book accepted on some reputedly very effective promo sites and mailing lists. If promoting your book and your book’s average rating is any blogger’s responsibility or goal or contract obligation — then that blogger is no longer just a reader sharing a consumer opinion and has a lot of disclosing to do.

    I’m tired of hearing from blog tours and promoters that have completely ridiculous conditions for having the privilege of getting a review or ARC copy. Particularly the ones that want minimum ratings, pre-approval or even editing rights over the resulting review. One was really ridiculous because the book was already free on the retail sites (and was only 99¢ regular price), required a gag order agreement if they did not approve of the review and demanded I commit felony consumer fraud by not disclosing I got a free review copy …*barf*

    Social media ( Twitter, Instagram, Facebook…) has stopped being social. The feeds are saturated with promotional and product posts from everyone and you cannot get away from sponsored/paid/promoted items to even find conversations with and shares of interesting stuff from your ” friends.” Admittedly, I was bad at Twitter because basically would just share link to post but now I don’t even do that (yes, I don’t care about my stats).

    Authors reviewing other authors — well, authors are readers and if just sharing their personal reading and being honest about it I can enjoy those posts/reviews. If reviewing in order to get a review of their own book (no matter how is done even if not a direct review swap and instead some group, site or program assigning reciews) — damn well better disclose that. The FTC considers services (like the service of a return review) payment and payments have to be disclosed. Almost all of the circle jerk review-to-get-review programs also provide a free book which would also need to be disclosed. Not exactly seeing even the free book being disclosed and on some sites the review swaps seem to overwhelm actual reader reviews.

    • To be clear, I never said everyone had to use the 5 star rating system. I follow blogger who don’t even rate their books ever and that’s fine. I just don’t like when they have to categorize their ‘favorites’ but that’s just me and it’s perfectly fine if you don’t agree. Not everyone is gonna agree and that’s really fine.

      I have heard horror stories about some tour companies and wonder who they are since the ones I’ve participated only have the ‘3 stars or above’ rule (which I get). I also don’t like when publicists don’t let you post your low rated review until the week after release. If I’m gonna waste my own money on a book (even if it’s $.99!) I damn well want to know the good AND the bad reviews!

      Thanks for your comment and I agree 🙂

  • Anonymous X

    I *hate* the cliqueyness that goes on in this community. I’ve seen bloggers who are *always* like “blogger X is my *best friend* (don’t you wish you had friends this good?!)” and I’m like “you don’t even know the person in real life and yet you’re still trying to make the rest of us feel left out of your friendship.” Then when anyone else but blogger X tries to talk to them, they’ll ignore it. Ugh. And usually blogger X is a more “popular” blogger (or at least one with a decent sized following).
    I hate how twitter is used to gain followers. I work hard to gain my followers through posting original content and the fact that some people just tweet “LOVE THIS BOOK SO MUCH!” and gain 60 followers bugs me to no end.
    I really dislike the bragging about ARCs and flooding my feed with them, especially if they’re physical ARCs.
    I’m disturbed by the fact that many bloggers are afraid to share their true opinion (pf books and other things). I’m always honest; it’s the *least* my followers deserve. I don’t understand how anyone could not be. Maybe I’m just unrepentant…
    I’m not great at Twitter. Honestly I go out of my way to avoid it because of all said “drama.”

    • Hi there, thanks for commenting. I agree with everything you pointed out and I’m glad I’m not alone. Especially the cliquey-ness. I’ve heard of some bloggers who will flat out ignore ‘smaller/newer’ bloggers on twitter and only interact with authors/publicists and the rest of the clique… *eye roll*

  • I agree with so many of these! First off, Nick, writing a review 15 minutes before it’s supposed to go live… *raises hand slowly* That’s me. I used to do it more often. Now I haven’t done it in a few weeks so that’s progress.

    All those that mentioned the ARCs: TOTALLY AGREE!!!

    I have one confession and it’s the same an Anonymous mentioned: Wanting to give up blogging because I feel like no one reads my content. There was a point where I wouldn’t get comments if I didn’t comment on blogs and that was sad. I would like to think people visit my blog because they like the content, not to get comments back. I don’t comment on blogs every day because I have stuff to do with my life other than this. Do I visit blogs everyday or at least try to? Yes but it sucks that many only comment if you comment and it’s just so frustrating.

    I gave up on being active on the Facebook page of the blog. I fail at it so I only share the blog posts on there. This year, I’ve started to be active on Twitter and I’m glad I have because I’ve had good conversations with people on there and even met a few others. Sometimes I forget to tweet and sometimes I tweet about my personal life, nothing book related. I still struggle with that last part because I want to share my life with people. Not the very personal side but just what I’m doing/watching. Just whatever comes to mind really but since my twitter is focused on books and the blog, I’m a bit scared of sharing my stuff.

    I haven’t really found many people on twitter that only talk about the ARCs and the authors but man, there is one specifically that just ugh. I still follow her because I know her personally but it’s annoying..

    YOUR REVIEWS AREN’T REPETITIVE, NICK! Your reviews are one of THE MOST WELL-WRITTEN reviews I’ve ever read! You write long reviews, which I like and I admire you for that because I suck at writing long reviews and feel like maybe I’m not a good book blogger because of that (still struggling with it) but I love your content in your reviews. You explore everything in the book and I just love everything about them.

    Nereyda, I love that you speak your mind. Not everyone does it and you’re very open about what you believe in so don’t stop, don’t apologize! <3 I'm also glad you didn't give up on blogging. We would have missed you 🙁

    This was great, ladies! Thank you for sharing!

    • Wanting to give up is a battle for most of us I think, which sucks. I miss a lot of bloggers that are no longer around 🙁
      The comment thing… I don’t get it. I don’t always have time to comment every day (I comment a few times a week, sometimes I don’t comment at all in a week…or two) and it does suck when you feel that people don’t visit/comment if you don’t do it first. But I always try to give the benefit of the doubt and think they must be busy too and hope they come visit eventually.
      Thanks Genesis!

  • Anonymous

    I love this post and agree with sooo many of these points you confessed. Here’s my little confession (damn it’ll feel so good to put this out there) I find myself frustrated and annoyed by a few “tour” hosts. Why do big publishers even use these people when they have publicists of their own? And…when they state if you give the book a 3 star or less, don’t post your review, to do a promo post instead!? Then you see on that “tour” hosts goodreads acct that they themselves rated the same book they are hosting a tour for, had given it 3 or less stars? What!? So its okay for them to rate it 3 or less, but we better not dare?
    Also, I’ve significantly cut back on my participation for tours/promos from publishers. Not that I’m not thankful for the opportunity, I totally am! but the requirements/ expectations they ask to add to the posts, the list of links to add exc become a little too much. Honestly, I’ve been enjoying reading/reviewing books that I’ve had sitting around I never got to, and finishing or re-reading a series I loved but didn’t have time to squeeze the rest in.
    Blogging is meant to be a hobby for me and many times felt like a job vs something I do bc I truley enjoy it. I no longer feel the need to bust ass posting a ton of reviews etc to keep up with everyone else or fear the publishers won’t keep me on their email list.
    I feel better now 🙂 I’m glad you guys did this post.

    • Wow, I have heard the usual ‘3 stars or higher’ rule (which I think makes sense) but some of the things you said sound crazy! I have heard similar things from other people and tour organizers but have no idea who they are.
      We have been reading a lot of backlist books too and it’s been so nice and relaxing. No more stressing over arc’s and deadlines and release dates.
      Thanks for your comment 🙂

  • This post just gave me life, guys!! Everything in here (that doesn’t pertain to your personal lives) is nothing but the truth. I’m beginning to really hate this blogging world. Seriously, guys. That’s why I’m gonna read up all of my NG and EW ARCs, my blog tour ARCs, and not sign up or request any more. I can’t deal with the shadiness and the drama. I wish everyone would come by here and read this post!! Thank you for this!

    Lekeisha recently posted: Waiting On Wednesday-23 #OneWithYou
    • Aw, thanks Lekeisha!
      ARC’s and drama can take out the fun in blogging but I hope you stick around. We’ve taken a break from ARC’s, most YA books, and all promotional posts and are reading more backlist books and rereading favorites. It’s brought back the fun in reading and blogging. You should give it a try 🙂

  • This was a great post ladies! It makes me feel sad that there was sooo many people who negative feeling ps about things but also made me feel happy that they could finally feel like they could say it….if that makes sense. I’m not really bothered by arcs cause I feel like I knew when I started blogging that pubs send them out to be reviewed therefore they ARE promotional tools. That is one grip that I just don’t understand but I guess it’s all in the viewpoint.
    As for debut chats….PLEASE for the love spot all that is holy can this be banned for like the rest of the year at least. I remeber one that was really fun like 8 months ago and you know what I’m reading s ton of those authors books now and I like it but I just feel like it’s been driven into the dirt. I know it’s really hard to come up with super original material all the time (I am not a creative person so I struggle with this daily) but as long as you try. While debuts isn’t an original thing I also don’t think it’s cool to ride coat tails cause you saw blogge x become so successful.
    I think there is a fine line between being friends with an author and being friendsly with one. I have many authors where Iwill randomly say hi or stuff like that and it’s In no way shape or form to get anything from them. I just like them as like a human being.
    I want to talk about one more thing that REALLY BOTHERS ME. I have been a serious blogger for just shy of two years and I keep hearing over and over how much peopl hate what the cumminuty is changing into. Well since I just joined this world I kind of feel like it is directed indirctly at me. I don’t know how it was before but to be honest I didn’t think it was so bad. Having people tell you how much they don’t like the ways things are makes me scared that I’m missing the big picture or am I contributing to the bad changes?!?! I don’t lie either of those feelings. I always try to be respectful light hearted but it does niggle at me and has for a bit. Maybe we could talk about HOW to change it back instead of what is differnt? I don’t know that is touch one since the only thing constant in life is change things evolve and there really isn’t s way to stop but maybe we can drive them in a most productive direction.
    As for FuCk I feel like that word conveys more emotions then a glittering vocabulary at times so I will continue to use my f bombs thank you very much.
    Also the thing about the freakin synopsis reviews, that drive me nuts.mshat the hell did you tell me that I didn’t just read in goodreads?! Ps I might want to actually read this books so thanks but all that isn’t needed. I want to know your thoughts not a book report. I specifically started blogging cause I wanted to write reviews that WERE NOT BOOK SUMMARIES.

    • Hi Britt,
      Sorry if you feel the ‘I miss the way the old blogging community’ was a dig at you or any new blogger, because it’s not. In fact, it’s not new bloggers I have a problem with, I’m friends with a a lot of them and they are the majority of blogs I follow on bloglovin. But I do miss the old bloggers (like Giselle) who had a no-nonsense approach to blogging instead of all the drama queens. I also miss the old sense of community there was back then when people didn’t get attacked personally for having a damn opinion! That’s what I mean by that, nothing against newer bloggers 🙂

      Every time I see a summary ‘review’ I think that they either didn’t really like the book and don’t know what to say, or that they didn’t even read it.
      Thanks for stopping by!

  • Tammy George (@tammygeo)

    You told your truth and I applaud you for it. People question why no one speaks up anymore when they have something on their mind- looks at the Twitter feed, mmm I wonder why…

    • And people wonder why so many bloggers chose to submit their confessions anonymously…
      Thanks Tammy!

  • I can’t take this anymore…I really need to get this off of my chest.

    When I first started reading the confession post I was thinking, “wow! That was a bit blunt.” Or “this is true”…And, “ha, ha, ha”…Or “I never thought of it like that”.
    Then I got to the statement that talked about other’s “How to” posts. That’s when I took a step back and was thinking, “what am I doing?”

    Aren’t some of the things in the post exactly that? Criticizing how people are or how they do things? And in your own words, isn’t this “offensive and hurtful”??? And doing it publicly!!!!!! Do I feel okay with the entire book blogging community analyzing bloggers to put them in a “shame on you” category? Do I have a right to critique people for who they are or how they do things? I then thought, “If I ever got the feeling that any of these things were about me, how would I be feeling to read this right now?” I immediately felt really horrible…and sad.

    It was at that point that I completely stopped reading. But like all drama, this post continues to bother me. Especially with how much discussion it has stirred up.
    Obviously I need to give my take on what so many people are (and should) be offended by. And that’s on the blogger/author relationship discussion. I don’t see ANYTHING wrong with bloggers and authors having a relationship. For me I find it extremely difficult. I personally I feel bad if an author knows I’m reading their book and I’m not liking it. I do have a couple authors that I feel I have a good relationship with. This is because they live locally to me, or I’ve chatted with them for many years. I’ll admit this does get tricky. Luckily, the one author I have the closest relationship to, understands my taste in books. I initially met her because she was an Indie author and I was one of the first to read and review one of her Indie books. She was easy to gain a relationship with because I hounded her regularly to write the next book. This author is now writing books that are not in my genre preference and she’s totally cool about it. She’s now popular, traditionally published authors and I will continue to go to an author signing and PURCHASE her books to support her. Other than receiving books from Indie authors really early on in blogging, I haven’t received a book directly from an author in YEARS. This is a boundary I’ve set for MYSELF to protect professionalism, and so that relationship doesn’t ever feel awkward…for ME. But who am I to judge if someone does things differently?

    I started blogging because I love books and I love to rave about them! I was thrilled when I found a community that I could relate to. I did a lot of work to put myself out there in the beginning. The very first bad experience was when I had a review plagiarized. It put me in a really dark place, but the positives continued to outweigh the negative. Then there was crazy drama that started striking the book blogging community left and right. I don’t need to spell what happened, because I’m sure we all have some sort of PTSD from things that have happened since we started blogging.

    Over the last 2 years, I have now put the brakes on blogging. Partially because I have my family problems I’m personally working through, but also because the drama is too much for me. I attended BEA last year to get the experience, and it actually kind of sucked! I felt so out of place. And most of it is probably MY FAULT. I’ve put up many walls to protect myself from mean and catty bloggers. It’s gotten to the point that I’m too scared to get to know people that might be really nice and awesome…just in case they may stab me in the back. Is there a way we can stop this? The book blogging community has gained a horrific reputation! How can we stop this if we continue being mean to one-another?

    Maybe when we have negative feeling toward another blogger, we can step back and ask ourselves, “Why am I feeling this way really? Is this person intentionally trying to hurt me? Is it really personal?” If it is personal is hurting us, then maybe we need to call them out on it directly!

    • Hi Mindy, thanks for your comment. I’m sorry our post offended you as that was really not our intention. This is the 3rd blogger confession post we’ve done (and they’ve all been equally honest) and the reason we did this was because a lot of bloggers expressed their interest in turning it into an event since they had their own confessions to share.

      We aren’t telling anyone how to blog, simply expressing some concerns that we and a lot of bloggers have. I get that not everyone will agree with us, they may agree with a few or they may agree with none and that is perfectly fine. Not everyone has to agree, they were merely our (and other bloggers) opinions.

      I don’t think it’s impossible to be friends with authors just to get their books. I have friends that prove otherwise. I do think it’s hard for us to trust reviews when that line gets too blurry though. Also, a lot of (my) confessions weren’t even aimed at this community (a good majority of them were aimed at some of the shady practices in the indie blogging community).

      I don’t however think it’s okay for people to attack us personally or to try to dig up dirt on us to try to expose us. I’m pretty boring… With the kind of backlash this had, it’s easy to see why so any bloggers chose to submit their confessions anonymously.
      I’m sorry this escalated the way it did, I’m sorry you (and a lot of other long time bloggers) have stopped blogging and I hope we can all move on. 🙂

      • Thank you for your sincere, respectful and reply. That’s really hard to do and I truly appreciate it.

        Now that I commented I can get past it, I just more worry about those that are too offended to speak out.

        I didn’t want my comment to upset anyone although I’m sure I probably did. I just felt the need to speak up for those times others did say something that truly offended me to hate our community. So I’m sorry too.

        • You didn’t offend me or Nick, so no worries there. And I respected the hell out of your comment because it’s really hard to say ‘I don’t agree with you’ in a respectful way. I wish more bloggers knew how to do this honestly. 🙂

  • LOVE THIS! I don’t know where to even start but I am positive that I agree with 100% of this.

    1. It is sad how few reviewers we can trust these days — sorry but not every book is 5 Stars.
    2. RE: November 9 — that is awful and makes me so sad! I don’t understand it — no one is above review (and an honest review!)
    3. The bloggers that are always promoting certain author “friends” etc. are doing a disservice to our community! UGH
    4. Also I am getting really annoyed with the “how to” posts — when someone’s entire blog is about how other book bloggers are doing it wrong, I have to unsubscribe and avoid that blogger. It’s true!

    Great post Nick and Nereyda — I LOVE this feature! So fun!!

  • You handled things well on Twitter. 🙂

  • “I miss Sam from Realm of Fiction everyday. ”

    YES!! Me too. I’ve thought of her from time to time and wondered what ever happened to her.

  • I so don’t understand Twitter either! I can’t spend any time on that site because its just like an overload! Too much going on and I have no idea how best to cull that information. So, I pretty much avoid it like the plague….
    I am also glad I am not the only one who stresses over stats! I try not to let it get to me, but it totally does!
    And I must say, I must live in a sheltered bubble of the internet because a lot of these things mentioned I haven’t really experienced! (Maybe because my stats aren’t good enough to be noticed so we are still drama free?!? See, I am overly concerned about my stats!). I am glad y’all put this together though-sometimes blogging feels very isolated!

  • I’m late to the party—have apparently been living under a rock—but here goes:

    This post is awesome and way past needing to be said. Thank you so much, Nick and Nereyda!

    “I hate leaving a comment on a blog and the blogger either never responds or doesn’t visit my blog and comment. – Anonymous” YES, I am so guilty of this and I promise I’m going to get better.

    I’ve had it up to here with the indie authors who so proudly proclaim their allegiance to Amazon and have no concern for all the readers who prefer Nook, Kobo, iBooks, etc. It’s fine with me that they choose to be Kindle-exclusive but don’t patronise me by telling me to get the Kindle for PC app so that I can review it on my blog. There are plenty of books out there for me to read besides theirs.

    I’m seriously annoyed that so many publicists—and authors—solicit reviews from me for books I would never ever read which they would know if they made the effort to look at my review policy.

    I’m sorry that I let myself get so caught up in the whole book blog touring thing as much as I’ve really liked some of the organizers. This isn’t their fault at all—I’m the one who has a terrible time resisting certain tour opportunities. It’s a large part of the reason my NetGalley and Edelweiss stats are so bad and I’m determined to get back to more of my own personal reviewing. I also need to get my “voice” back and start posting my own articles again like I used to do when I started blogging in 2009.

    Like Nick, I constantly find myself reading a book at the very last moment before a review is due (either a tour or promised to a publicist or author for a specific date).

    I confess, I do occasionally write a blurb-type review but it’s almost always because I’m part of a tour and I didn’t really like the book but it’s too late to tell the organizer (see the above note about reading at the last moment). I do at least try to include one or two opinion sentences. On the other hand, if the book was my personal choice, I have no reluctance to tell it like it is and I have been known to rate it as low as it deserves when I put it up on a star-required site (I don’t give ratings on my blog).

    I definitely do not fit in with the cliques—and I don’t care.

    I once was friends with a certain very prominent (not indie) YA author legitimately—I hosted her debut launch in my bookstore and we became more than book acquaintances. On the blog, I’ve published very positive reviews (by a volunteer reviewer) of a number of her books. Then, one day, she dropped me from her Twitter following list. Guess we weren’t friends after all. I hate that I let that bother me and that it still does.

    “I’m tired of hearing authors and commercial interests blow up at bloggers and readers because their star rating is too low for them to get the book accepted on some reputedly very effective promo sites and mailing lists. If promoting your book and your book’s average rating is any blogger’s responsibility or goal or contract obligation — then that blogger is no longer just a reader sharing a consumer opinion and has a lot of disclosing to do. – debbie” OMG, yes!

    “I find myself frustrated and annoyed by a few “tour” hosts. Why do big publishers even use these people when they have publicists of their own? – anonymous” I can actually answer this—it’s because most publicists haven’t got a clue how to do a blog tour effectively, i.e., they don’t promote the tour anywhere but Twitter and don’t even provide a schedule of stops for participants to post on their individual stops.

    On the whole, I do still enjoy blogging but I need to make some real changes to get back to basics. Y’all have pointed me in the right direction 😉

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  • This is great! I don’t really do many book reviews, especially on my blog, but I completely agree on the being ‘friends’ with author’s bit. If a reviewer says they’re close friends with the author I’m absolutely not going to trust their review. I rarely trust gushing reviews anyhow. Typically, I go to the one-star reviews and see if it’s petty shit or if it’s legitimate concerns and go by that if I want to read or not. It’s really saved me the trouble of avoiding books that would’ve really pissed me off.
    I don’t get why folks aren’t honest. I’m pretty honest on my blog (except I curb my cursing because… I don’t know? Professionalism or something?). I got this free book from a fellow blogger and I was stoked to read it because it sounded cool, but I could NOT get into it. Bored me to death, so I didn’t force myself to finish it. *shrug*

  • Wow, this is such an amazing post and so much of it I was nodding my head too.

    Can I confess to overuse of NetGalley, my percentage is 37% for 18 months! But I am happy!

    I am jealous of people who time to blog everyday and have fantastic reviews and shiny blogs on WordPress.

    I also confess to wanting to be on WordPress like a lot of other blogs, wanting the shiny tweak me and UBB plugin thingies but can’t justify paying for it so feel like my humble blogger blog is not as shiny!

    Whilst I am on a role I have two books I need to review by Monday night and I have barely started them!

    Also when I first got in to blogging I reviewed an authors book and quickly seemed to get swept in to her facebook group thing sharing pics and promos which was fine but then an uber moderator came in and wanted us to be consistently doing promo after promo to which I thought fuck that!!

    I love being a book blogger but I have let myself down by losing my love of reading but stupidly agreeing to review books that I shouldn’t taking up time that would be better used reading other things. Changing the way I though now means I have revved up my reading love and now have a shit load of books to review now!

    Anyway it is best to do what you want, I don’t want to read carbon copies of the same blog post on different websites, be unique and don’t give a fuck and ignore the mean girls!

    Did I mention this is an awesome post!!!!

    Heather @ Random Redheaded Ramblings recently posted: REVIEW - The End of the World Running Club by Adrian J Walker
  • I just typed out a long comment and hit the “back” button by mistake and deleted it!! Ugh!!

    Okay, here is the gist: I don’t pay attention to Twitter and I’m glad because I don’t notice any of this ARC envy. I barely have enough time between reading, commenting and being on Goodreads to pay attention to Twitter as well. I do like to get ARCs from a series/author that I love, but if I don’t get approved I figure I’ll read it when the book comes out, and then I’m not obligated to write a review.

    That sucks that bloggers gave November 9 4 and 5 stars when they didn’t like it. You have to be honest even with a favorite author. It would be hard to love every book by one author. Even if I love a certain series, there’s usually a book in the series that didn’t knock my socks off. Even though I adored the Love Me With Lies series I’m hesitant to pick up any of Fisher’s newer books. All her stories seem to be just another version of Olivia/Caleb. I hated Mud Vein. CoHo and Fisher’s relationship in an odd one.

    I haven’t read Harry Potter and probably won’t ever. Just doesn’t appeal to me. I have watched a couple of the movies.

    I don’t like threesomes either. I always think that one of the three would feel less loved, left out in some way. I always think, yeah, that’s hot, but it would never work long term.

    Great post and thoughts ladies! 🙂

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  • I’m kind of a little bit worried about a lot of these confessions now… I am the kind of person who totally butts in on other people’s twitter conversations… be it an author or a blogger – if they tweet something that makes me react, I’ll tweet back. And sometimes, that becomes a small conversation where I’m a real part of the conversation as well.
    And I have some authors who have become my friends, some were my friends because they blogged about books before they published their first book, even. But that doesn’t mean I give all their books 5 stars, and they all know that! One has even told me she loved it when I gave her latest book 5 stars, since she knows that I don’t just slap on all the stars because her name is on the book.
    And most of all, I’m actually really sorry that there seems to be so many fellow bloggers who are feeling either left out, or down about the blogging community. I’ve been around for three and a half years, and little by little, I have made connections with other bloggers. Some of those connections are strong, chatting privately, and meeting up in real life strong! While others are a little less strong, but where I visit the blogs every week, but only comment if I really feel like I have something to add to the conversation. I don’t want to leave a comment just saying ‘Lexxie was here’ 😀
    I really hope that getting some things out in the open will help everyone feel better, because I think the book blogging community is pretty fantastic! We are pretty opinionated people, both when it comes to the books we read and, I suspect, most everything else 🙂 And so, it’s just impossible to agree all the time.
    I really love that the post and the comments were so respectful, that right there shows that for such a diverse group, we’re trying to stay positive even when we don’t agree with something.

  • Oh my goodness, so much in this post that could be commented on (heck I could write a whole blog series on a few of these hmmmm 🙂 ). So I’ll just pull one out at really resonated with me-“I miss the good old days when we read books simply because they sounded good. Not because we want a coveted ARC or want to be friends with an author.”
    There’s absolutely NO reason why you can’t still do this! The best thing I ever did was shut down my old blog, because I had lost the joy in blogging in big part from the obligations and pressure I had put on myself. I lost sight of why I started blogging in the first place-to have a small space to share my love for all things bookish. I deleted my blog, lost my hundreds of followers and my shiny stats, and I spent last year simply reading. And it felt absolutely amazing. Now I’m back with a new blog, a new perspective and a much different game plan. Heck, I’m not even including reviews on my blog-and that’s ok (albeit slightly insane lol). I’m having so much fun reconnecting with some of the awesome people in the book blogging community, and I’m blogging how I want to (and really, that’s all that matters). I’m a free rang reader and blogger and darn, it feels good 🙂

  • I laughed so hard! I agree with so, so many of these. I totally fail at Instagram for books (I’m okay with it for my other blog, but why the hell can’t I have the app twice?!).

  • Dee

    I’m glad you wrote this post! I thought it was just me who was noticing a lot of these things. 😀

  • Jennifer T

    In all honesty I stopped blogging because of the horseshit.
    Point blank its coming from EVERYWHERE. Posts like these are funny but also sadly true.
    Theres a blogger I see throw major effing potshots at another blogger cuz she does a lot of those book announcement posts and she gets tons of bloggers to post them on the same few days.
    This chick got hella subscribers & a good thing going on, so why the eff does she gotta be a snarky hater?
    Come on you can’t disguise that level of nastiness as “snark”.

    This community has a shitty rep. Don’t even fool yourselves anymore.
    At BEA last year I was alone & I saw and heard so much shit it blew my mind!
    Normal non bloggers were disgusted by the straight up elephant stampedes to get ARCS
    They were like “damn librarians have to fight with thousands of bloggers for a book & often lose”
    even bloggers got sick of the crap.
    I was hearing some truly nasty stuff said. Gaggles of bloggers throwing shade like whoa.
    The entitlement was puke inducing.
    Still is.
    So yeah I have respect for some book bloggers but a lot of them gotta shut it down or get a reality check.

    Dude read it then blog about it don’t shove up our asses on every facet of social media out there

    Its great to get ARCS. No doubt. I mean lets face it bloggers type their fingers raw and work hard so an arc isn’t “free”. Its a quid pro quo type deal. I mean we are busting ballz to promote the book. Book bloggers get books SOLD, get ppl to the signings, and get BEA and similar places filled up.

    Its not ONLY arcs and perks and “oooh my friend *insert authors name here* type bragging”
    You gotta have true love for the written word and spreading that love and lighting a fire in ppl hearts to want to read. That love and passion has to spill out of that blog into peoples minds and hearts. Thats a bloggers mission.
    Theres more to it but I see it as a labor of (thankless)love.

    I may have vented and ranted like a Mutha but its been bubbling up for a long time now.

    Ppl need to feel ok talking about the truth of the matter without having ppl gang up on them.

  • Jennifer T

    You two do the damn thang, btw.
    LOVE this blog & got about 10 more book blogs on that love list.
    Probably more but my mind is running at half speed.
    Thanks for the honesty. Thanks for the kick in the ass. We all need a dose of reality once in awhile.